Home / Guides

Romance Scam Warning Signs: 10 Red Flags an Investigator Looks For

From the investigators at Run. Don't Run.™ · Hubbard Investigations, LLC, FL Agency #A1200250 · Updated October 28, 2026

Romance scammers are patient, polished, and very good at what they do. The people they target aren't foolish. Most are kind, a little lonely, and willing to trust. Here are the warning signs we see again and again in our investigations, and how to check them yourself.

1. They fall in love fast

Pet names in the first week. "I've never felt this way before." Talk of a future together before you've met. Real relationships build slowly. Scams are on a schedule, because the goal is to build enough trust to ask for money.

2. They want to leave the dating app right away

Moving the conversation to text, WhatsApp, Google Chat, or Telegram gets them away from the dating site's fraud monitoring and makes them harder to report. A quick move off the app isn't proof of anything, but combined with the other signs it matters.

3. There's always a reason they can't video chat or meet

The camera is broken. The connection is bad. They're about to deploy. A scammer can't show a face that doesn't match the photos. If weeks go by and you've never seen them live on video, treat that as a serious warning sign.

4. They work far away, conveniently

Overseas military, an offshore oil rig, an international aid doctor, an engineer on a foreign contract, a ship captain. These jobs explain why they can't meet, why they need money sent "home," and why they're hard to verify.

5. The photos are a little too perfect

Scammers often use photos taken from a real person's social media: a model, a soldier, a successful-looking businessman. Do a reverse image search. Save one of their photos and upload it to Google Lens, TinEye, or Bing Visual Search. If the same face shows up under a different name, you have your answer.

6. Their story has small inconsistencies

A hometown that changes. A late wife whose name shifts. A college that doesn't fit their age. Writing that doesn't match the education they claim. Keep notes. Scammers often run several conversations at once and lose track of the details.

7. There's an emergency, and money would fix it

A frozen bank account, a customs fee, a medical bill, a plane ticket to finally come see you. The first request is often small, and the requests grow from there.

8. They ask for gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency

This is the clearest red flag of all. The Federal Trade Commission's advice is simple: never send money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency to someone you haven't met in person. These payment methods are popular with scammers because the money is almost impossible to get back.

9. They want to "teach you" to invest

A newer version of the romance scam skips the emergency and offers to help you get rich instead, usually with a cryptocurrency or trading platform they recommend. The early "profits" you see on screen are fake. When you try to withdraw, there are fees, then more fees, and then nothing.

10. They ask you to keep it secret

"Your kids wouldn't understand." "Don't tell your bank, they'll just get in the way." Scammers isolate their targets from the people most likely to spot the scam. If someone asks you to hide the relationship or the money, that's reason enough to stop and check.

The good news: a scam usually falls apart when someone checks the facts. The real person whose photos are being used can often be found. The claimed name, age, job, and address either line up with public records or they don't.

How to check them yourself

Reverse-search their photos with Google Lens or TinEye.
Search their name in quotes with the city they claim to live in, and look for a matching social media history that goes back years, not weeks.
Check the sex offender registry at the national public site, NSOPW.gov.
Search county court records where they say they live. Many counties have free online search.
Ask for a live video call. A real person who's interested in you will make it happen.

If you think it's a scam

Stop sending money, and don't send "one last payment" to unlock the rest.
Contact your bank or the gift card company right away. Sometimes a payment can still be stopped.
Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the FBI at IC3.gov, and report the profile to the dating site.
Be wary of anyone who contacts you offering to recover your lost money for a fee. That's often a second scam.

Not sure? Let a licensed investigator check.

A Run. Don't Run.™ report verifies who they really are, whether their story matches the public record, and whether the identity they're using belongs to someone else. They're never contacted or notified. Worried about a parent? You can order a report to protect them too.

Start your report — $299 Read a sample report first

This guide is general information, not legal advice. Run. Don't Run.™ reports are compiled from public records and licensed investigative databases for informational use only. They are not consumer reports under the FCRA and may not be used for employment, tenancy, credit, or insurance decisions.